There's a new statue in a Burien, Washington outdoor art space which is drawing a lot of public attention. The bronze statue is that of a nude woman squatting, and some parents are asking that it be moved. Besides being located in an outdoor art space, the statue is also next to a public library where a lot of kids come and go. The parents who want it moved are not happy at the thought of their children seeing it.
Now, really, folks! Are you kidding me? With all the internet porn to block and t.v. and video game sex and violence to get into a tizzy about, you're worrying about this statue??? Is this some kind of phobia created by "The Night In The Museum" movies? Are you afraid the statue is going to come to life? Then, what? Will it start acting like a metal pedophile? I say, "Hey, Parents! If you're going to spend time worrying, how about worrying about the real risks? Such as real pedophiles hanging around and not innocent public art that isn't capable of actually harming your child!"
Yes, indeed, I do have to wonder about some people. What are these parents most concerned about? That their kids will see a nude human form? Oh, no! Nudity! The unclothed human body! Oh, the horrors! The horrors!!!! (Aaaaaaaak!!!!) The children will be forever corrupted! They'll never grow up to be healthy, educated, moral adults if they see a naked bronze lady. We must put the kiddies in a small bubble full of hot air and made of hypocritical morality. Keep them there all throughout childhood, and then, as soon as they become adults, "Pop!!!". Deflate that bubble, and throw those kiddies out into the world like innocent lambs thrown to the wolves. Don't let the children learn about biology or anatomy. Certainly, don't educate them about human sexuality. It's soooooo much better to let it all be a big surprise, especially nine months later.
We must all take responsibility to protect our nation's children from public art. Art is dangerous. It might encourage those greatest of life's hazards: creativity, imagination, free expression, even (heaven forbid!) enourage free thought. Most especially, none of us want children to grow up with the ability to think for themselves! It would cause so many difficulties to those comfortable with the status quo. What are we going to do if we raise children more intelligent than ourselves? We can't let that happen. If they are more intelligent than their parents, these children will recognize how many generations of morons have lived before them. We can't have that! We can't, as a society, raise children that might actually have enough brains to solve those very real social problems that we've been struggling to fix. Just imagine it! Expose children to educational things, such as public art, and they might develop critical-thinking skills that could someday save the world. No, we certainly can't have that!
I wonder, though, if her nudity is really the main problem that these parents have regarding the statue. I wonder this because, when I see the statue, the first thing I think of is that she bears an unfortunate resemblance to a woman squatting in the woods to relieve herself. Maybe parents should be concerned that she encourages public urination. Besides the possibility that the someone might look at the statue and laugh so hard they wet their pants, I can also imagine an enraged mother saying, "It was hard enough to potty-train my little Johnny without this woman flagrantly ignoring the nearby public restrooms! Now, he thinks that, if she can water the shrubbery, then he should be able to do it too!"
This all reminds me of story about another, more famous, nude statue. When my younger brother, Jeremy, was about eight years old. We were playing a game where we were impersonating different things and trying to get the other person to guess what we were supposed to be. It was his turn to come up with a pose. He sat down and leaned over with one hand on his chin, forming the pose of the classic, Rodin statue, "The Thinker". He asked me, "Who am I supposed to be?"
I answered, "That's easy. The Thinker."
He says, "Noooooo. . . I'm that statue. You know, which one I mean, right? I'm that statue of the guy sitting on the toilet."
Further information:
Wikipedia article on "The Thinker" statue by Auguste Rodin http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thinker
Local KOMO news article which includes photos of the controversial bronze sculpture in Burien, WA http://www.komonews.com/news/local/49052321.html
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