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It's been hard for me to understand that much of what I think of as "control" is an illusion, albeit, a very powerful one. Life is full of things that I have no control over. This doesn't mean that I haven't spent plenty of painful time, bashing my head against the wall, and trying to take control of many situations that weren't actually my responsibility. I have spent most of my life trying to fix things and people over which I have no real control. It has taken me a lot of time to recognize that I only have the ability to make decisions for myself and my own life, not for other people and their lives. That doesn't mean I don't still try sometimes to fix things and people that I have no real power over. Yet, these days, I'm more easily aware of when I'm trying to do this, and I don't try do it as often as I used to. That, my friends, is what I call progress.
The first time I heard the song "Fix You" by Coldplay, I loved it immediately. It has both a haunting and an uplifting quality at the same time. Although, in trying to free myself from the compulsion to always fix other people, I have to admit that the lyrics of the song used to bother me. My brain keeps screaming - I DON'T WANT TO TRY TO FIX YOU! THAT'S NOT MY JOB!
Tonight, I've been doing some thinking about this. I believe that I've been looking at the idea of "fixing" too narrowly. Perhaps, there is a more balanced path where exists a different, healthier way of fixing; fixing that isn't trying to change someone else, but involves just being there for them, offering them love and support, as they heal and grow. Instead of trying to solve someone else's problems for them, by being present, a person can offer them the strength and, thus, help "fix" them in this way.
I was curious what was intended by the lyrics when the song was written, so I did a little research. I found that most people agree that Chris Martin wrote the song for his wife, actress Gwyneth Paltrow. The commonly given reason is best summed up by a respondent on Yahoo Answers:
"Chris wrote this song for Gwyneth Paltrow after her father died. She came home from the hospital covered and drenched in tears, and he started crying and asked her, `what can I do for you? tell me how I can do it' and she looked up at him, and said `just hold me... cause you're the only thing that can fix me right now'
And that was that - he wrote the song the next day."
Whatever the true meaning behind the words, I've grown to have a new perspective on the lyrics. Now, I believe the song speaks of the comfort and peace that can be found in the presence of those who love you, especially during those difficult times when love is most needed. With this new understanding, I can better explain why I always feel such strong emotions when I hear the song. Whether you are or are not familiar with it, here are the lyrics:
Lyrics to "Fix You" By Coldplay
"When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse?
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you."
Now, please use this link to enjoy the official version of video on YouTube
Until I type again,
Kami
Kami
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