WIDE AWAKE - - Part Three: New Believer

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***Author's note: "Wide Awake" is an original, previously unpublished, fictional story that I wrote. It will be told in multiple parts. If you've yet to read any of the prior parts, here are the links to do so. For Part One go to: http://kamikae5.blogspot.com/2009/09/wide-awake-part-one-crazy-talk.html For Part Two go to: http://kamikae5.blogspot.com/2009/09/wide-awake-part-two-haunted-house.html ***

WIDE AWAKE

Part Three: New Believer

I've always been fascinated by the fact that a single incident can forever alter the course of ones life. This happens all the time. Often those events are obviously life-altering, such as a birth, death, marriage or divorce, for instance. At other times, we are not able to recognize what impact an incident will have upon our future. We may feel that something has changed, but all too easily this can be considered to be of less than life-altering significance. After being saved from a fall off a chair by unseen hands and being warned to be careful by an invisible source, I had the feeling that some things would be different. A brush with the supernatural had turned me from non-believer into believer. This was not a natural leap for me. I'm the sort of person who is comfortable with the concrete and logical. A belief in ghosts was neither of these. My coming to hold such a belief required a shift in myself. The old Lily Wilson could no longer exist under these circumstances. A new Lily Wilson was forced to begin her existence.

This creation of a new me was not something readily apparent. I didn't realize that I was forever altered until the transformation was fully under way. One day I was a business grad. student on summer vacation, and the next day I was a woman who communicates with a ghost. Yet, at the time, I was so caught up in these bizarre new circumstances that I had no thought about how my life might be changed by them. I had the obsession of a new believer so caught up in the practice of their faith that they can not seen the world beyond it.

My focus became centered upon a ghost. In particular, I was locked upon trying to communicate with Professor Harper's resident ghost, Thomas. My sister had been in contact with him for a couple of weeks, but his rescue of me was the first time I'd had contact with him. Oh, that doesn't mean he hadn't been around me. The night he'd rescued me from falling off the chair, I'd puzzled over the cold drafts and the sensation of being watched. I hadn't wanted to conclude that there was a spectral origin for these. Now, I was sure that Thomas had been there with me all that night after my sister, Stephanie, had gone to bed. He'd been near me, hovering about. Had he been planning to make contact with me that night? Stephanie had said that he'd told her he was planning to speak to me soon, but that he'd been putting it off because it was hard for him to do so for some reason he'd been unwilling to explain.

Could a ghost be nervous about speaking to someone? Had he been hanging around me, trying to build up enough courage to say something? It was an odd idea. Why would Thomas be nervous about speaking to me? He couldn't have known that I'd nearly fall off a chair in the pantry. He'd prevented me from injury although, in doing so, he'd suddenly put himself in position to make the contact with me that he'd been reluctant to initiate.

After my near-accident, I sat in the kitchen drinking my tea. Although I'd originally made the tea to help me sleep, I doubted I'd be able to relax anytime soon. My eyes scanned the room over and over, but I saw nothing. I put down my cup, held my breath, and listened as hard as I could.

Silence.

I might have thought that I was alone if it weren't for the on-going chill in the room and the continuing sense of another's presence. No, I wasn't alone at all.

Alright. Enough is enough. I wasn't just going to sit there all night. I could passively wait for Thomas to contact me again, or I could take action. I decided on the latter.

"Thomas?" I whispered into the icy kitchen.

I paused, and then I whispered again. "Thomas?"

No answer.

"Thomas? If you're there, then answer me."

Still no answer.

Standing in the brightly lit, silent kitchen, in the middle of the night, it occurred to me how foolish I must look. Maybe it was this house. Could poison vapors coming through the floor boards lead us to hallucinate? I'd been perfectly fine before I'd begun house-sitting here, a couple of weeks ago. Although, it had only been Stephanie who was in contact with him until tonight. If I could have continued thinking of Thomas as her imaginary friend, it would have been so much easier. Then, I wouldn't be feeling like an idiot, talking to myself.

These thoughts made me angry. Why should I be spending time trying to get a ghost to talk to me? I never asked for this drama. I was here to house-sit, not to ghost-sit. Other than house- sitting, I was on vacation. I should be having fun, and this was not my idea of a good time.

I poured the rest of the tea down the sink. I was too angry to drink it now. Tired and grouchy, I ranted aloud as I paced around the room. "Fine. Don't answer me. Don't talk to me at all. Apparently, that's how you want it. Why is that? Huh? Why is it that you'll talk to both Stephanie and Professor Harper, but you don't want to talk to me?"

Silence.

Silence and more silence.

"Forget it! I don't care if you talk to me or not." I stopped pacing. "Oh, this is ridiculous. Reality check, Lily. You're having a one-sided argument with a silent ghost. Not your brightest moment."

I nearly jumped out of my slippers when these comments at last elicited a response. "No, really?" An invisible, amused man spoke right next to me. "I was enjoying this one-sided argument of yours. It's a shame to interrupt it, but I suppose I should start talking to you before you go back to believing that I don't exist."

"Not much chance of that now." I replied. "I assume that I'm speaking to Thomas?"

"Yes, you assume correctly, and you're Lily."

I nodded, although it had been a statement rather than a question. Now that Thomas was speaking to me, my anger had drained away. Jagged frustration had become smooth relief. I couldn't understand it. Once I believed in Thomas' existence, it became important to me that we start talking. His reluctance to get to know me in return only increased my interest in him.

"Are you going to tell me why you've not wanted to speak to me?"

He laughed. It startled me that his laugh sounded so warm, so rich, so alive. A ghost surely shouldn't sound like that, I thought. Although, I really couldn't claim to be an expert on ghosts. My only knowledge of the supernatural came from t.v. and movies. So, all of what I knew could be purely invention. Maybe all ghosts have laughs that make them sound as if they are still alive.

Thomas finished laughing and asked, "That really bothers you, doesn't it? Do you hate not knowing why?"

I would have glared at him if I could have seen him. I settled for eye rolling and shaking my head. "Will you just answer the question?"

"I've been watching you, Lily. Ever since the first time that you entered this house, I've watched you, and I've listened."

He paused, and I asked, "You've been spying on me? Don't you think I deserve any privacy?"

"Yes, to both questions. Don't worry. I don't watch you all the time. I've not seen anything you'd be embarrassed to show a stranger."

I blushed. It hadn't occurred to me that as a ghost he could watch me anywhere, at any time. Hopefully, he was telling me the truth about giving me privacy at those times when I'd most want it. Oddly enough, I believed he was being honest about it. For some reason I couldn't explain, I didn't feel that Thomas was a liar. I did, however, see that he was trying to distract me as a way to avoid my original question.

"I'm not going to bed until you tell me what I want to know." I crossed my arms.

Thomas laughed again. "It's not wise for the living to try to out wait us ghosts. Time doesn't mean the same to me as it does to you. If I choose not to answer you, then you could stand there until you collapse."

I didn't budge. My family has called me "stubborn". I've never disagreed with this assessment. It was foolish, in this case. I was already tired. I wonder, in retrospect, if I would have actually stood there until I collapsed? Was I stubborn enough for that? I think that I might be. Fortunately, it never went to that point. Sounding exasperated, Thomas finally answered my question.

"Alright, alright. Fine. I'll tell you. Jeez, you're stubborn, Lily. . . Well, as Stephanie told you, it has been hard for me to speak to you. It's not that I haven't wanted to talk to you. I have. Since you moved in, I've been trying to work up the courage to say something. It's been. . . difficult. I've been too nervous."

"Nervous? Why?"

"It's because I like you, Lily. I like you in a way that a ghost has no business liking the living. It's not right, not natural. If I were a regular man, it would be different. That's why I've been reluctant to start talking to you. Usually, I'll look at you, and I'll think how beautiful you are, and then the words will just stick inside me."

My head was spinning. I couldn't process what he was saying. "You like me? You think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course. You're beautiful woman. I've listened to you, Lily, and you're also smart and interesting. That's why it's been so hard for me to be comfortable speaking with you."

"Yet, you're doing it. I mean, you're speaking to me now."

"Yes, I wasn't sure I would have if you hadn't almost fallen off that chair."

"Well, thanks for saving me from falling."

"You're welcome. I couldn't let you get hurt. Until then, I know you didn't believe in ghosts. I'd considered letting it stay that way, but then that was no longer possible. You started talking to me, and I finally found I couldn't resist answering you."

"I've never been liked by a ghost before. At least, I don't think I have." I smiled. "Actually, I could have had a whole supernatural fan club, and I'd never know it."

Thomas groaned. "I shouldn't have told you how I felt. This is can only cause trouble for us both."

My smile grew wider. I'd worried that I wasn't having any fun on my vacation. Yet, suddenly, I was having a good time. In fact, my life, usually very practical and well-planned, had suddenly become very unpredictable. It surprised me that I didn't mind the change. I'd never wanted trouble more.

***To Be Continued***

Until I type again,

Kami